It's All Up For Debate

What's the best method? Who's right?

There are no shortages of answers to those two questions. A check on the booksellers' lists show hundreds books, DVD's and videos specializing in potty training. Everyone from the lady down the street to Dr. Phil has a method, a book, a program - all claiming to be the best way to accomplish the task of teaching your child how to use the toilet.

This next question is a more personal one. What does it mean to the individual to have a potty trained child? This is where the decision to start potty training has its genesis. To have a child who is able to use the toilet on their own, listen to their own body signals when the urge comes to eliminate, and eventually learn the proper hygiene accompanying the act, are all desirable outcomes of toilet training.

By accomplishing these goals, there is freedom for both the child and the parent. And the child can be better prepared for the next step in the progression of life - like going to kindergarten.

And when exactly is the right time to potty train?

That depends upon the child. Unless you've decided to train your child from birth or very early infancy, there seems to be a few physiological things to consider when it comes to timing.  According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children's elimination muscles reach full maturity somewhere between 12 and 24 months, with the average being around 18 months.  This is where your observation of your child's behavior becomes your guide to knowing when your child has matured enough to be toilet trained. 

At about a year old a child will begin to give signals when eliminating. Squatting and grunting when having a bowel movement or pulling at his diaper when urinating are a couple of signs that he's making a connection between the urge and the action.

Body control

By the time the child is around 18 months, he's gained enough control to delay elimination for a short time.  Usually he'll manage to control nighttime bowel movements, then progress to controlling daytime bowel movements and then finally he'll stay dry at night.  His readiness to proceed is becoming more evident by this time. Staying dry for longer periods and urinating much more at one time are other indications that he may be ready to begin potty training.

"I'm a big boy"

The development of motor skills is part of the package since the child will have to learn to pull their pants down and back up.  Cognitive and verbal skills are also part of the process since the child is becoming familiar with his body functions and making the right associations in terms of elimination. 

As his parent, your job is to help him put all of these dynamics together, patiently and gently, so that when the time comes, he can do what needs to be done and let his parent know, "I'm a big boy now."

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